Wednesday, April 25, 2012

A Typical Conversation with My Teenager

Alex: What is for dinner?

Me:  mmmmmffff. I don’t know. How hungry are you?

Alex: I don’t know.

Me: On a scale of one to hungry, how hungry are you?

Alex: 14.

Me: That’s really hungry.

Alex: I don’t really understand your scale. I’m fish hungry.

Me: Fish is not very hungry.

Alex: You have weird scales.

Me: That’s a normal scale.

Alex: Then, I am hippo.

Me: That’s very hungry.

Alex: Then some other childhood game animal less than hippo.

Me: What do hippos eat?

Alex: Small animals.

Me: Really??

Alex: I’m pretty sure they’re carnivores.

Me: But, they have such cute teeth.

Alex: No. They have fangs.

Me: In the cartoons, they have teeth like marshmallows.

Alex: Look it up.

Me: (google images-hippo teeth) Wow. Those are not like the cartoons.

Alex: Hippos are ferocious.

Me: But, look. (google images-cartoon hippo teeth) They’re cute. Totally marshmallow teeth.

Alex: In their natural state, they are not very kid friendly.

Me: I see that.

Alex: Hippos are fast.

Me: What?

Alex: Super fast.

Me: I could outrun a hippo.

Alex: No. Google.

Me: (google images-how fast can a hippo run?)  [Picture of a man being chased by a hippo]

Alex: See.

Me: oops. I’m still on images.

Alex: ( googles without image filter) “…30mph”

Me: Wow.

Alex: I will get in the car and go get us some foods.

Me: Finally.