More Happy Hilbert Car Ride Conversation

Josh: What country do you think has the most technology?

Nate: California.

Chloe: California is a state.

Josh: Like Illinois. (pronounce Illi Noise)

Me: Josh, it’s Illinois. It rhymes with annoy.

Josh: Oh. Really? Well, good thing it’s not a country. It’s small. Someone would take us over. What is the biggest country?

Me: I’m not sure.

Josh: Is Russia pretty big?

Nate: They call it Russia because they rush around because it's so big.

Josh:  We own England, don’t we?

Me: Uh. No. Why do you think that?

Josh: Isn’t that what General Washington was fighting for?

Nate: Wait. California is a state?

Nate: I want to be an actor. In movies.

Josh: I want to be in the army. They get to use guns.

Chloe: Really, Josh?

Josh: It fulfills my dream of blowing things up. They’ve got to do a lot of pushups. And they don’t get good food. Nevermind. I don't want to do that.

Just a Typical Happy Hilbert Car Ride

(Heard inside the Happy Hilbert Minivan during one twenty minute drive home from church.)

Josh: Chloe, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Chloe: I’m not sure.

Nate: I want to be a male model.

Josh: Hey! That’s what I want to be.

Josh:  Sheesh. Everywhere we go, everyone knows me.

Nate: Me, too.

Josh: They say that my mom talks about me all the time or they know my mom or something.

Chloe: That’s because mom is a social butterfly.

Josh: Yeah, she’ll talk to anyone.

Me: I used to be shy when I was your age. I didn’t talk very much.

Josh: That can’t be right.

Nate: Are we on the internet?

Chloe: Sometimes mom blogs.

Josh: And, of course, we’re famous on Facebook.

Josh:  I hate flies. What do flies do?

Me: Uh, fly?

Josh: No, what are they good for?

Me: Frogs eat them.

Nate: What are frogs good for?

Me: Birds eat them.

Josh: What are birds good for?

Me: They spread around seeds.

Nate: Oh. That’s what flies are good for.

 

Me: Any chance you guys could settle down and be quiet for a few minutes?

Josh: But, what should we do?

Me: Anything that’s not loud. How about quietly pray?

Josh: Mom, you’re so funny.

Taco Bell drive thru guy:  Why aren’t you kids in school?

Me: We homeschool.

TBG: You’re not at home.

Me:  Well, we’ve got to eat.

TBG: You should have home ec and cook.

Me: Uh. Good idea. We’ll do that tomorrow. Today, we’re having Taco Bell.

TBG: (to Chloe) Quick! What’s ten times ten?

Chloe: um. A hundred.

TBG: See. Now you learned something today.