Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Nice try

After my umteenth frustrating encounter with Nathan, my reluctant homeschooler, I went upstairs, grabbed my bible and tried to gain some perspective. I went to the book of wisdom and since today is the 30th, I read Proverbs 30. 

Ah Ha! Wisdom granted. I found exactly what I needed. I went downstairs to quote scripture to my young son. 

Me: "Alright, listen up. I'm going to read you something.

"Proverbs 30, verse 17 'The eye that mocks a father, that scorns obedience to a mother, will be pecked out by the ravens of the valley, will be eaten by the vultures.'"

Nate: "What does that mean?"

Me: "It means you'd better obey or your eye is going to get plucked out and eaten."

Nate: "That's not true."

Me: "It's in the bible. Of course, it's true."

Nate: "It can't be. I disobey lots of times...and I still have my eye."

Me: "sigh."

Friday, August 5, 2011

Happy Hilbert Hospitality

Welcome to the Happy Hilbert House. Knock and come on in. In just a minute the little dog will settle down. Or she won’t. Don’t trip on the big, fat dog. Fair warning…you will leave with Golden Retriever fur all over you.

We are largely a self-serve establishment. I will point to the kitchen and the bathroom. You are pretty much on your own after that. If I have had some warning you were coming I MAY have cleaned the bathroom. Otherwise, um...sorry, we are a house largely populated by boys.

If you need a drink, in the kitchen you will see the cups in a shoe holder on the wall. Don’t ask. The ice maker doesn’t dispense so you have to actually open the door. Use caution. Frozen meat may fall on your toes.

We have plenty of snacks. Open the pantry or refrigerator and grab whatever you want. Again, use caution, things are balanced precariously.

I’m usually hanging out in the Living Room. Join me. Lay on the couch. Recline in a recliner. Grab a blanket or a dog if you’re cold, both are likely in arm’s reach.

Don’t look at my ceiling. One of these days, I will get it done. But, maybe not.

I may get up mid-conversation to switch the laundry. You can come with….or make your own fun ‘til I get back.

If you are confused by any of this, grab a Hilbert child. Literally. They’re probably running by playing some sort of crazy game. We encourage them to be wild at home. You really don’t want them getting their energy out in public. Trust me. Try to get coherent information out of them. (Aim for the girl if you want something that makes sense.)

Stop by anytime. Glad to have you. And oddly enough, I’ll bet you’ll be glad you came.